Hollywood, CA (The Hollywood Times) 10/28/2018 – London Fields, directed by Mathew Cullen is an adaptation (with Roberta Hanley) of the successful Martin Amis novel – a black comic murder mystery that was published in 1989 and it probably seemed like a good idea. The noir crime thriller is set in 1999 London and has a star-studded cast – Billy Bob Thornton, Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, Jim Sturgess and Theo James – that can’t save the fiasco that unfolds.

Sturgess is simply unbelievable and all the men are badly cast around the psychic Nicola (Heard) who awaits her birthday and her present – death. Heard is a gorgeous, yet predictably boring femme fatale.

Wasted are the talents of cinematographer Guillermo Navarro (Pan’s Labyrinth) and production designer Jeremy Reed (Factory Girl) in a film that never brings the audience in to care if Nicola lives or dies.

A dying New York novelist, Samson Young (Thornton) arrives and has switched flats with a successful author which rests under Nicola’s (Heard). She becomes his upstairs inspiration for his last book. Samson is the narrator (overly so) in a long winded tale of… who cares?

There is nothing enlightening or entertaining in this production. In a society that is depicted as lustful and wild – what is left out is invigorating or sexy. The dueling lovers and throwing in Johnny Depp as Chick the smarmy, scarred loan shark never lures or hooks us in.

Amber Heard plays impossible sexpot Nicola Six, a fantasy woman for porn-hoarding pub

Rated: R, for sexual content/nudity, language throughout, some violence and drug use

Running time: 1 hour, 47 minutes